Needles and a Pen » Knitting, Sewing, and Nursing School

…so I can sneeze without seriously considering trading in my stash of hanky panky thongs for a trusty pack o’ depends.

Nic hugged me yesterday and said “Ahhhh–your belly sticks out now!”

Which means I need to get in the good hugs while I can–I remember those 7 month pregnant hugs–those hugs suck!  All belly no real hug!

I pulled my first full sized ripe tomatoes from the garden today.  My cherry tomato plant has been producing ripe fruit for at least a month, but I’ve been waiting on the full sized tomatoes to ripen for a LONG time!

Today I pulled a Cherokee Purple and a Green Zebra.  Both plants look to be big producers, but the green zebra has been a smaller plant and has a few less fruits…the Cherokee Purple pushed down its frame and has been out of control for about a month.  The green zebra was a lot prettier than the purple, with a more symmetrical shape and more attractive color (the purple was more of an ugly burgandy) and in my informal taste test I preferred it.  It’s sweet but has a bit of a tang–just a tiny bit more interesting than the sweet Cherokee Purple tomato…but the Cherokee Purple did have better texture.  It was very meaty whereas the green zebra had a bit more “watery-ness” to it.  Overall, though, I preferred the green zebra and would plant more of them in lieu of the cherokee purple. Of course there are a bunch of green tomatoes out there just waiting to ripen and change my mind!

Still waiting on three other plants to product ripe fruit, too!!

Things are going well.  Heard the baby’s heartbeat or a horse on a racetrack…one of the two.  Scheduled the big gender ultrasound for Sep 3rd.

I was in the waiting room with a woman and ALL her friends and relations (it was her 20wk ultrasound day).  She gets on the scale, gets off. Nurse says she gained two pounds.  (for the record, the rule of thumb is one pound per week after the first trimester, so she’s at half her “allowed” gain)  The husband looks at her and says “you gained TWO POUNDS in a MONTH?!”  and repeats it two or three times in disgust/wonder.  Wife is skinny blond.  Husband is gross fatty.  It took everything I had not to say “wow–you got yourself a real winner there.”

I also gained two pounds last month, putting my total gain at 4lbs.  This is great news because it puts me about 10-15 lbs under my weight at this point with Will!  Apparently exercise videos and not eating constantly really are the trick to not gaining 50lbs during pregnancy. 

I’ve been up twice tonight and finally gave up trying to go back to sleep at 4:00.  One of the the things I remember most fondly about being pregnant with Will was waking up at odd hours of the night and being totally awake.  By that time I was out of the Air Force (which makes me think it’s a little early for it already to be happening again!!) and so there was no need for concern–I could sleep in the next day!  I’d go into the front room and sit in the leather chair and read.  I read a lot of Jane Austen, I reread Gone with the Wind, and a couple of others that I can’t remember now.  It felt so cozy being alone with Will and a book.

This time it’s bound to be a little different, but hopefully I’ll still be able to enjoy the quiet hours.  Like right now I’ve got a creme brulee cooling on the oven (the frozen broil at home kind) and my email inbox waiting for me to tackle!

We’re lounging in the living room this Sunday morning–I’m downloading pictures and Will is watching his favorite show–Special Agent Oso (or “Special Oso”).  He’s wearing a shirt but has of course lost his pajama pants in the course of the morning.  I hear the words “I’m making bigger” in a sing-song voice and look over to see Will playing with his weiner.  I very carefully went back to working and saw out of the corner of my eye Will drop his hands and sing-song “I’m making smaller weiner.”

Oh the magic.

Bernadette says when Will turns 18 she’s going to print out all of my Will weiner twitters and put them in a leather bound volume for him. 

Nic and I got a sitter for Will tonight so Nic and I could go to dinner/a movie, but after the following conversation, it’s likely that I’ll be left with the sitter and Nic will be taking WILL out for dinner:

(nic spent the morning working on his jeep and is now taking will to the zoo)

Will entering the garage:  “Oh it’s so beautiful!”

Nic:  “What?  The cars?”

Will:  “Yes.  Daddy’s monster truck.  It’s so so beautiful.  Thank you for fixing my monster truck, Daddy!!”

For the last few days, Will has been all about the role play.  In the course of 20 minutes we can be cowboy/horse, mommy crocodile/baby crocodile, and cat/dog.

Playing his characters really just involves doing what we were already doing, but having every statement made to the other person include their pretend name.  Like “Mommy Crocodile?”  “Yes, baby crocodile?”

Some of his pairings have been funny.  Like when he wants me to be Handy Manny, he is “Tools” collectively.  When he first started to be Buzz Lightyear, I was “Toy Story” (I have since asked if I could be Woody and this was deemed acceptable).  When he is “Captain Janeway” I am “Galaxy.”

I might even dare to call it a love!  Will is slowly becoming more of a reader.  He’s received a bunch of new books this summer, which definitely seems to create a new excitement in reading.  Joan brought a bunch of Caldecott winners with her when she came to visit in June, and he occasionally brings one to me during the day.  But two weeks ago when I got Knuffle Bunny Too, I also picked up One Was Johnny and Chicken Soup with Rice, knowing how much Will likes to sing.  And these three books have become instant favorites.  Will walks around singing “chicken soup, chicken soup, chicken soup and RICE” and asks to be read these stories throughout the day.  In fact, it’s now the first thing he asks for when he wakes up!

Knuffle Bunny Too is a big hit–yesterday Will acted out each scene while Nic read it.  He plays such close attention to Trixie’s facial expressions and the way she holds onto the bunnies!

We went to Costco tonight to look at a kitchen table and right across from it was a twin over full bunkbed.  “That’s what we’re going to get” I told Nic.  Thus began a debate about whether or not I can make a boy and a girl share a room.  I say yes.  That they are perfectly capable of sharing a room until puberty.  Nic said no.  We went back and forth a bit as we continued to shop around.

“Seriously, honey.  What will 9 year old Will possibly have going on in his life that his 5 year old sister can’t know about?”

Cue Will.  He at this immediate point in time starts pointing and giggling and says:  “he he he.  boobies.  he he he boobies.  he he he.”  as we pass the bulk bra display.

Sometimes I think the two of them gang up on me and plan these things out ahead of time.

At my ultrasound yesterday the baby wasn’t super cooperative about giving up the goods, but the ultrasound tech thinks she’s a girl!  She said don’t paint the nursery just yet–we’ll have to wait until my next ultrasound in 6 weeks to be SURE, but for now we’re excited that Willie will have a baby sister!  After I picked him up from preschool we went shopping for a present for the baby girl.  I wanted Will to pick between the ones *I* liked, but Will had his own idea.  It absolutely HAD to be the mermaid outfit.  And then he wanted to wear it, too.

I am so excited to be able to shop on the girl side of the store now!  It’s just so cute and ruffle-y over there!

Is what Nic said to me the other day when we were lounging in bed.  Will had asked us if we could go see Mickey Mouse and we said no, that California was too far away.  He went to the window and looked out and had the following conversation:

“Mountain, have you seen where mine California house is?  [pause]  Yes.  It’s too far away.  [pause]  Oh!  Thank you, Mountain!”

This weekend Will convinced Nic to break out the viola.  Will is big into music and instruments.  Thanks to baby einstein (ugh) he knew the bridge and the long neck and the “bone”.  Tonight they played with it again (Will is allowed to play it as long as he is very careful) and I was asking Nic if there are any instruments for toddlers to play, because he loves them so much (both playing and listening).  I asked Will what instrument he would like to learn play and he answered “a baby cello” and then said “a PINK baby cello.”

Since I’m not so sure about the existence of baby cellos, and even less sure about where one would go about purchasing a PINK baby cello, I’m back on my periodic craigslist hunt for a piano.  I asked Will if he would like to get a piano (in leiu of a cello) and he said “that sounds like fun.”  And then asked if we could go store shopping for a “panano” (after I convinced him that we couldn’t immediately go visit grandpa and his panano).

I took Will to the pool yesterday and he was so cute.  We have a great kid’s pool–it’s really pretty big, and goes deep enough for us to swim him around a little.  He is always pretty cautious about getting in–especially on a day like yesterday when there were a LOT of other kids there to watch.  Once he was in he was pretty sure he wanted out–he was complaining about it being cold (it was a little cold) and didn’t want me to swim him around at all.  But then I grabbed one of the balls and he started to warm up…and then a 7 year old befriended him and he was happy as a clam.  The boy and his sister played with us for a LONG time.  Lots of chasing.  And showing Will little tricks they wanted him to do.  It was so cute.  When we got out of the pool and were drying off, Will said “give big hugs” and I felt really badly that I hadn’t had Will say a formal goodbye to Gage (apparently when you have 4 siblings your parents run out of real names).  But low and behold, Gage came walking over to say goodbye and Will went over and gave him a big hug.  It was really sweet.

We went to Sonic for lunch afterward and had an all around great afternoon.  We both totally earned our naps. 

We got a surprise ultrasound at my dr’s appointment today!  I was so glad that Joan was here to see the latest ultrasound of the baby.  It is looking much more like a baby–even moving its little arms and legs.  When we told Willie that we were seeing pictures of the baby he said “coochie coochie coo” at the screen, and then he stole the ultrasound pictures and wouldn’t let us have them.  They were HIS “belly baby pictures.”  I get another ultrasound at my next appointment in 4 weeks where they’ll check on my cyst again, and then another at 18 weeks (that will be the big “boy or girl” day)!  I’m glad I get so many ultrasounds this time–it’s so fun!

I so don’t have time for this but I want to remember the funny thing Nic told me this morning.

After Nic got out of bed to get ready Will and I shared the big bed and went back to sleep.  When Nic came to kiss us goodbye he said “look at Will–he looks just like an angel when he sleeps.”

I mumbled something like “roahr.”

He continued:  “When Will sleeps, he just closes his eyes and there he is–looking just like an angel.  When you sleep, it looks like someone dropped you from a great height and just left you there.” and he proceeded to show me my screnched up “I’ve been dropped from a great height” sleeping face and flailed limbs.

And it was funny because it’s true.

Instead of a backyard, we have a dirt/weed lot.  We tilled up all of the remaining dead grass/weeds about a month and a half ago to put in a sprinkler system and some sod, but on the few days we’ve had off, Nic hasn’t felt much like tackling that giant project.

Will doesn’t mind.  Because garden hose + dirt pit = ucky mun.  And nothing makes Will happier than ucky mun.  (Although sometimes he calls it stinky or sticky mun.  And that makes him happy, too.)

Today he was having a blast with his hose and his puddles and ran around collecting all of his dinosaurs to stick them in the swamp and I was sitting here in the dining room proofing photos wishing I had a camera to take photos of him with.  And then I realized that just because it’s in the car and would require me finding a memory card doesn’t mean that I don’t actually have a camera.  So I went and got it to take a few pictures.  When Will saw me he said: “hey–don’t take a picture of mun!”  “hey–what’s the big idea?!”

Which reminded me that I haven’t shared his “hey–what’s the big idea?!” phrase.  And it needed to be shared cause it CRACKS ME UP.

Nic left us this morning with those words.  Because for some reason, Will thinks Nic works “making hippos.”  He occasionally tells me during the day “Daddy’s at work.  Daddy making hippos.”

I would give money to know where he got that idea!

I got myself drugs for morning sickness.  I debated whether or not to call my nurse-midwife and beg for them…but it is SO NICE to be nausea free!

I’m gonna have to switch to a different medicine, though.  This one is GREAT at stopping the nausea, but renders me drunk and incompetent.  Yesterday I fell asleep multiple times in multiple positions before finally going to bed at…7:00.  My bones had turned to jell-o.  But I woke up this morning and still felt well, so at least there’s that!

Willie is currently sharing a cup of ginger ale with me.  Soda, or “soya” as he calls it, is one of his most favorite things in the world.  Sometimes I worry about Will and how he’s spent his entire life living east of the Rockies.  He has no idea what “pop” is, and thinks Dairy Queen only serves cool treats.  There are no hot eats east of the Rockies.  Dairy Queen is strictly a dessert location–no delicious fries or hamburgers.  If you get lucky they’ll have hot dogs.

I’ve come to terms with my yucky medical condition enough to finally acknowledge it here.  My last dr’s appointment SUCKED.  I had horrible pain the night prior, and would have gone to an urgent care clinic, but knew I had an ultrasound the very next morning and decided that since I wasn’t bleeding, I’d just wait for the appointment.  I was totally prepping myself the whole morning for bad news.  We got to the ultrasound and she couldn’t find the baby.  She could find the yolk sac, and kept telling me that it was intact and looked good, but for 3-4 full minutes she couldn’t find anything else.  This felt like half an hour.  It is an outrageously long time to be having someone look for a baby.  She found the baby, showed it to me, I saw the heartbeat, but completely without any of the usual “take a minute and look at your baby” type stuff she moved the ultrasound wand, and asked “does this hurt?” while looking at me as if she was waiting for me to burst into tears.

When a dr asks “does this hurt?” and gives you that look and it DOES hurt, you know it’s not good.  She spends another 8 minutes looking over at that side.  Which was not only really uncomfortable, but now I was sure that I had cancer.  And so even though the baby WAS fine (if a bit of a master at hide-and-seek) it doesn’t matter cause I’m gonna have to immediately go to the hospital for a quick hysterectomy followed by chemotherapy and radiation.  She told me that I have a complex dermoid cyst on my ovary (if you ever want to eat again, don’t google it) and that Sharon, my midwife, would talk to me about it.

Sharon told me that everything’s fine, and she doesn’t want me to worry, but I have this cyst, and it’s a weird gross kind of cyst that gets hair and teeth and stuff (at this point I’m looking around the room for a scalpel cause I’m gonna take that thing out MYSELF) and it’s something that normally they would want to take out immediately, but they don’t want to do surgery on a pregnant woman if they can help it, so the plan is for me to take tylenol for the pain, and they’ll monitor it for growth.  If it grows, they’ll take it out in the second trimester.  If it doesn’t, they’ll wait until 4-6 weeks after I deliver.

I spent the next three days being totally freaked out.  We had a wedding to go to that afternoon, and the stress of the wedding and the not-finding-the-baby, and the weird growth left me shaky and just wanting to go to bed.  I figured once I went to sleep I’d be able to process everything and wake up okay.  Not so.  I woke up the next morning still totally freaked out about the thing in my body that’s gross and doesn’t belong.

But I got used to it and I’m almost not totally freaked out every time I think about my midsection.

In other news, Will talked to the baby for the first time this weekend.  He normally refuses to believe that there’s a baby in mommy’s tummy (“no–that’s MOMMY!” he always says) but for some reason, for a three minute period this weekend he believed.  His response to the idea was to SHOUT into my belly button “HI BABY!!!  HELLO BABY!!!!”

Will continues to love preschool.  He has a best friend named Alex.  I’m not sure if Will is Alex’s best friend or if it’s just one-sided.  According to Will, they run and play monsters together and when I picked Will up at nap-time last week (we had a wedding and needed to leave early) they had their cots set up next to each other.  The best news is that Alex is a really good boy.  Unlike Christopher, who is definitely The Little Shit of P-1, and whom I would forbid Will to befriend, Alex is a quiet and nice and seems pretty low-energy.  Surprising, but comforting.

Is that to a three year old, they look and taste a helluva lot like lollipops.

The other problem is that they do make you feel better, but only while you’re actively sucking on one.

That 50lb weight gain with Will is seeming less and less like a self control issue and more and more like an inevitability…

When Will started spending some full days at preschool he started calling me “Miss Mommy” on occassion.  It cracked me up…but not nearly as much as:

“Miss Mommy!  Miss Daddy!”

You can’t blame him.  At preschool all adults are “Miss.”  After a few weeks of occassionally being called “Miss Daddy” Nic has started correcting Will:  “No, honey–it’s Mr Daddy Sir.”

The morning sickness is getting worse, so I popped into the archives of my computer to dig up my old blog from when I was pregnant with Will.  And was distraught to read that it’s going to get much worse, and it’s going to last a LOT longer.  Apparently it went away briefly at around 9 weeks only to return with gusto and leave me barfing up cereal for the rest of the summer and most of the fall.  If things go the way they did last time, I can expect to feel better…sometime in September.

Just in case you were counting, we have like 30 weddings between now and September.

Last night I was having a dream and I was super nauseated in the dream.  Pretty much the worst dream ever.  And then I woke up and was so sick.  I shouted “Nic!  I need a bucket!” and waited for him to find the will to get out of bed, go downstairs, and bring me a bucket.  I figured this would take about five minutes.  Instead, he reached beside his dresser and handed me a bucket.

Dude–second time fathers are PREPARED.

I’m experimenting with different breakfast “cures” to nausea and rice seems to work pretty nicely.  It totally cured me yesterday, but has only moderately done the trick today.  Will is used to it now–he starts the morning by asking “is your tummy grummle?  is your tummy six [sick]?”  I am grateful that three mornings a week he starts his day at preschool, where they don’t simply hand him a nutragrain bar, turn on Handy Manny, and lay down with him on the sofa groaning.

This can’t last until September.  It just can’t!

Willie just brought a cupfull of sand into the house, filled it to the brim with water, and then spilled some of it on the floor.

I made some kind of noise that prompted Will to respond,

“It’s okay, Mommy.  Accidents happen.”

I’m super excited to see the baby’s heartbeat at our ultrasound tomorrow.

With Will, there was so much to do and think about at this stage.  So much research and reading and decisions to make.  This time, it’s kinda boring right now!  We’ve got our names picked out, the doctor picked out, we decided that Will’s gonna keep his toddler bed in toddler bed configuration and we’re going to get a crib…I already know what to expect when I’m expecting, so there’s not even new reading to be done!

All there’s left to do is eagerly await the next stages.  For instance, with Will I was dreading the day I wouldn’t fit into my clothes.  I thought the sooner that day came, the less good of a woman I was.  This time?  I freaking CAN’T WAIT for the day that all of my pants have stretchy elastic waistbands.  WHAT IS BETTER THAN LIFE IN COMFY PANTS?!  You know what else I’m excited about?  Farting all the time.  For the last three and a half years I’ve been sitting here at my desk, a sad sitting duck victim of Nic’s disgusting fart-bombs.  For the next 7 months?  I’m gonna fight back.

If you’ve hung out with Will in the last five months you’ve probably noticed his habit of picking his nose and then eating it.  He’s been sick so much since starting preschool that it’s turned into some sort of comfort thing.  I’m thinking of looking into a patch.  Or just having him take up smoking.

He does it as he tries to put himself back to sleep.  And the more I say “no fingers in noses” the higher he sticks that puppy up there.

Today I was re-curling my hair (something our Seattle-like weather this week has made a regular occurrence in the mid-afternoon) and Will came in, sucking on his finger.

“Mmmm.” he said.  “Booger’s tasty.”

Apparently keeping Will away from his own snot is like trying to keep me away from Sonic.  I know it’s disgusting and bad for me and makes me gross to look at, but I just can’t help it.  It’s so darn delicious.

He came into the office, stood next to me, patting my arm and said, “Hello Mommy.  It’s me, Crazy!”

WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?!!!!

“It’s so wonderful” has been replaced by “it’s so beautiful!”

Like the package of cookies I brought home from the store last night that Will found this morning:  “Oh, it’s so beautiful!”  Or the jimmy dean sausage sandwich he pulled from the freezer.

PS–we’re currently experiencing a winter storm.  They predict Peyton to get between 12 and 24 inches by the time it’s all over.  It’s April.

In other crazy news I had a bride call today and she wants me to shoot her wedding tomorrow.  We have a morning wedding that day, so I said okay!  I’ll be showered and dressed, so why not!

For the last couple of weeks, whenever Will has been displeased with me, he calls me “Donald Mommy Duck.”  As in “stop it, Donald Mommy Duck.”

And I want to know if it means what I think it means!  That Donald is such a butt-hole and I’ve always hated him.  He ruins EVERYTHING and is clueless to other people.  When I’m upsetting Will is he really saying that I’m a mean butt-hole like Donald Duck?  Cause if he is, it hurts a little.   (just kidding.  mostly.)

To test my theory I called him Donald Willie Duck and he got very mad at me and said “NO!  You’re a Donald Mommy Duck.”  So I think I’m right.  It’s a PG way of calling me a douche-bag.

He came into the office, stood next to me, patting my arm and said, “Hello Mommy.  It’s me, Crazy!”

WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?!!!!

“It’s so wonderful” has been replaced by “it’s so beautiful!”

Like the package of cookies I brought home from the store last night that Will found this morning:  “Oh, it’s so beautiful!”  Or the jimmy dean sausage sandwich he pulled from the freezer.

PS–we’re currently experiencing a winter storm.  They predict Peyton to get between 12 and 24 inches by the time it’s all over.  It’s April.

In other crazy news I had a bride call today and she wants me to shoot her wedding tomorrow.  We have a morning wedding that day, so I said okay!  I’ll be showered and dressed, so why not!

For the last couple of weeks, whenever Will has been displeased with me, he calls me “Donald Mommy Duck.”  As in “stop it, Donald Mommy Duck.”

And I want to know if it means what I think it means!  That Donald is such a butt-hole and I’ve always hated him.  He ruins EVERYTHING and is clueless to other people.  When I’m upsetting Will is he really saying that I’m a mean butt-hole like Donald Duck?  Cause if he is, it hurts a little.   (just kidding.  mostly.)

To test my theory I called him Donald Willie Duck and he got very mad at me and said “NO!  You’re a Donald Mommy Duck.”  So I think I’m right.  It’s a PG way of calling me a douche-bag.

Will continues busting out the words, phrases, and correct pronouns with such an astounding rate that I’m considering cancelling his second speech assesment.  This morning, to Nic:

“are you go downstairs to play Mario Galaxy?”

And the pronouns get more correct by the day!  So much so that I can’t even keep track of his most common saying, which morphed from:

“he’s not trouble, you’re a good boy”

to “I not trouble, you’re a good boy”

to “I not trouble, I’m a good boy!”

(The root of that one was that for some reason a couple of weeks ago Will started saying “he’s trouble” several times a day.  We finally figured that he meant himself, as in, “I’m in trouble.”  So I would always reply, “you’re not trouble–you’re a good boy!”

Every day it feels like he gets a little closer to having those pronouns correct.  Every day he’ll stick “I” where yesterday a “he” would have gone.

The gender thing is still not there, but we have so few interactions with girls to practice with (the same is true with preschool–there are many days when there won’t be a single girl in the room, and when there are, the most he has is 2–it’s a 9:1 boy:girl ration in there), and it seems like all of his books have only boy characters!  I’m thinking I need to arrange more playdates with Taylor girl to practice!

We got a new video camera that makes sharing videos online 1000 times faster, so I am going to be a little better about keeping that part of the photo site up to date!  I just uploaded a video of Will hard at work on one of his drawings. 

 We can’t help but notice that if you try to get Will to do something he doesn’t want to do he shouts “STOP!  WALK AWAY!”

I asked at preschool this morning and it turns out that they teach them to say that to the other kids when the other kid is doing something they don’t like.

When I give Will something he says “OH THANK YOU MOM-MY!” in the sweetest most excited and surprised voice in the world.  I want him to do it forever.  I know it will last about a month, though.  And then it will vanish.  So I hope I can catch it on video to have forever.

So I’m at the post office/bank about to do a bunch of errands and as Willie and I walk in the door I remember that I forgot to write down the serial number of one of my lenses for a Nikon thing I’m signing up for.  So I tell Willie “hey–mommy forgot something, we have to go back to the car.”

And he looks at me (holding my hand so sweetly) and says “Okay, Mommy!” in his sweet little voice.

So we go back to the car and I’ve got myself halfway in the trunk trying to read the serial number from the lens in the bag and the trunk comes down for some reason and whacks me on the head twice.

It hurt.

So I shout “FUCK!”  loudly enough for Jesus to hear.  And as I try to dislodge the trunk from the back of my scull I hear Will’s little voice:

“Are you hurt, Mommy?”

“Yes, buddy–I hurt my head.”

“Come here” he said, reaching up to pull me down to him.  Then he kissed me on the head, patted my head, and said “It’s okay, Mommy.”

And it was.

This is our last month before our world comes crashing down and “The Season” begins.  We’ve got three weddings in April, five in May, and NINE in June…and then it just says crazy until October.

We took advantage of this crappy economy and are booking a crazy great deal to Disneyland at the end of April.  Along with my carefully earned Disney Dollars (I put almost every cent the business spends on a disney rewards card), the specials made this vacation way too cheap to pass up!

Will and I will be in Seattle for a week at the beginning of April for my cousin’s wedding.  Because the flight times were so ridiculously inconvenient and he only would have been able to be in Seattle for something like 50 hours, Nic is staying behind.

We incorporated Real Photography last month (we’re now an Inc), and the resulting re-set-up of a bunch of my accounting stuff has taken up a lot of time.  Even with our accountant doing 90% of it, it’s been a giant pain in my butt.

I launched a new boudoir website and coordinated with a Denver hotel and make-up artist to put together a boudoir photography event in May.  We sold out in two days!  (And then someone dropped out so now I have a space…but the initial selling out in two days was pretty rad!)

I’m doing a senior portrait photography “fair” in May.  A bunch of photographers in a high school gym basically.  But I’ve got some ideas to make sure our booth is incredible.  But if we have any sort of response at all, Real Photography is definitely going to have to expand.  I’m already outsourcing the accounting, and will be outsourcing a lot of the image processing starting next month.  I’m hoping to hire a customer service person to answer 99% of our email/phone calls this summer.  If we get a bunch of seniors, we’ll definitely be doing that.  At this point in the business I can basically do what I’ve been doing for the last month or two and just turn down opportunities to stay at a size that I can hope/pray to handle myself, or I can start outsourcing more and more and GROW.  Since I’m reading The E-Myth right now, I’m opting to grow. 

Will has his second speech evaluation next month, and I’m hoping he’ll pick up enough of the 3-3.5 year old stuff in mean time to make it the last we have to think about any sort of speech therapy!

At the beginning of May we’ll be heading to Delaware to photograph Nic’s friend’s wedding.  We’ll be staying on the beach, so I think Will is going to have a great time.  Will needs more Daddy-Will time.  After just three months back at work, Will has already resorted to the “mommy must do everything or it’s just not right” way of thinking.  Like MOMMY must go down in the morning and turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  If DADDY does it, it’s not right.  Even though DADDY does it nicely and MOMMY says murdurous things the whole time cause she stayed up too late working.  I’m pretty sure when Will is 15 I’m gonna be like “Will!  Will!  Will!  Will!!  Will!!!”  And finally he’ll say, “WHAT?!”  And I’ll say “Come get drinks.”  And he’ll say “But that’s Baby #2s job.”  And so I’ll just say “Will do it!  Will do it!  Will do it!!” and whine and cry over and over and over and over and over and over until he wants to shoot me in the face.

And then we’ll call it even.

On the same day as Will’s speech assessment we also had his first parent-teacher conference with Miss Heather.  It was a good conference–they really love him and say what a sweet boy he is.  A couple of funny/interesting things:

– for “takes pride in accomplishments” he was marked at “most of the time” (one of the only ones to receive this highest mark).  She mentioned how he gets that giant smile that just melts your heart when he’s proud of himself.

– his best friend is named Norv.  Those parents should be shot.  Quinton is another buddy.  WHAT IS WITH THESE 2000 NAMES?!!!!  I HATE THEM ALL!  There is a girl in his room named True.  (running off to grab the barf bag.)

– they are working with him on confidence.  (This seems funny to me.)  She said that sometimes she or Miss Grace will see Will just sitting sadly, not doing his work or playing.  When they ask him what’s wrong, he’ll just point at the offending child.  She said they’re working with him on telling the other kid that whatever the kid did wasn’t nice and hurt his feelings.

– he got marked down for “awareness of others’ personal space.”  This is one that I’d like to mark him down on, too.   She said that the boys play spiderman and wrestling a lot during recess, which is fine, but when one of the kids says “stop” the other kids know to stop.  All except Will.   She said he isn’t being mean–he’s just playing–but they’re working with him on understanding that when people say “stop,” you have to stop.  I told her we’re working on this at HOME, too. 

–  she said he LOVES his color “work” and his practical life “work.”  The color work they do is matching colors and arranging the colors (all greens together, all reds together, etc) as well as arranging from darkest to lightest shade, etc.  She said he really likes that.  He also likes assorting sizes–biggest to littlest, etc.  The practical life work that he most enjoys is anything to do with water–lots of pouring from one container to another.  We definitely see this at home!!

– he knows Texas, Idaho, and Washington states.

– she said she’s so glad he’s in her class.  that he’s a very loving sweet boy.  (but that could be just cause I pay her.  you really can’t trust any school you pay $500 a month to tell you the truth.)

Will’s language EXPLODED last month.  We are now treated to delights like “there she is!” “i so hungry.  tummy.  tummy.  hungry tummy.  i so hungry.” “this is fun!” all perfectly articulated.  I love “good night mommy” every night and “good morning mommy” every morning.

About a week before I went to Vegas I got a few speech therapy books and “diagnosed” the sticky spots in Will’s speech.  He was dropping consonants in the middle and end of his words.  I took a peek at my own speech and in my hurry to get to the next word the ends often blur together.  So I made an effort to slow down my speech with Will and made a MAJOR effort to slow down bedtime stories to a crazy speed, enunciating every last sound.  I also played the “you’re a chuB” (which now includes “you’re a mommy daddy house” and “you’re a stinky daddy dog” when Will “gets back” at me) with him.

Within two weeks his speech totally exploded.  I’m not sure if it was just a coincidence, or if that had really been his obstacle to more full on talking, but even our friends have commented how suddenly it happened–they now understand him!  At any rate, when I took him to his first speech therapy evaluation last week, they said that he did great with that part of speaking–some of the last sounds were incorrect (which is usual for kids that age–substituting easier sounds for harder ones) but that they were there.

At his evaluation they said he had all the things he was supposed to have by 3, but only a few that they want kids in the 3-3.5 range to have (which is what I’d been seeing, too).  So they have us coming back for another appointment next month, but he might be totally up to speed by then since he was only 3 years and a few days old at that first appointment.

Things we’re working on?  Pronouns–if they say “touch his shoes” and there’s a picture of a boy and girl, Will should touch the boy’s shoes.

Sidebar:  This is something I’ve noticed that’s really funny among the language development set–they make a BIG deal out of gender differentiation.  At Will’s 3 year well child check up they asked him if he was a boy or a girl.  I told them that we hadn’t taught him that and they said “it’s something you should be working on” DEADLY SERIOUS.  Like we should practice every day saying Will is a boy and mommy is a girl.  And since they don’t show pictures of NAKED boys and girls in the his/her speech therapy test, apparently I’m supposed to teach him to tell the difference from: length of hair, whether it’s wearing a skirt or pants, and whether it is holding a bear or a doll.  I wanted to launch into a whole diatribe about how that’s not REALLY on my “working list.”  I think the whole “count to ten” thing is way more important (which he can do and they didn’t ask).  Or you know, ABCs (also working on those).  Cause it’s not like “boy” and “girl” are the only options.  If he’s transgender (which I doubt, but you know, he COULD be), I’m okay with that and I’m not going to make it my life’s mission to be like “YOU’RE A BOY!!!!”

Anyhoo…aside from their close-minded-Republican-Focus-on-the-Family-are-you-a-boy-or-a-girl-and-please-wear-a-skirt-so-we-know agenda, they also have us working on vocabulary (not all items of fruit are “apples”), and verbs.   As in answering the question “what do you do with this?” (while pointing to a coat) with something more than “shirt.”

I found it interesting to see at his evaluation what I’d noticed at home–if he doesn’t think he can say something, he just says “nope.”

Like “can you say apple?”  “APPLE!”  “can you say [insert hard word here–I can’t think of any at the moment]?”  “Nope.”  He won’t try–he just says “nope.”

One of the 3-3.5 things he DOES have is the idea of quantity.  The therapist said that it isn’t important that they answer the question “how many apples are there?” correctly, it’s just important that they know they have to count.  Which he did.  And he did exactly what he does at home…counted them “1.  2.  3.  4.  TEN!!!!!!”  (Anything more than three is TEN!!!!  Which I thought was really dumb until I realized that to me, anything more than 50 is like a million.)

I woke up this morning to a boy who now calls me Mommy.  He really does change overnight!

Will started saying that yesterday as I leave the room for naptime/bedtime.  It is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.  So sweet.

His three year well child appointment was today–he’s 41 inches tall and 38lbs.  That puts in in the 98% percentile for height (which means he’s the size of a four and a half year old) and the 94% for weight.  “Goodness, you’re a tall boy!” as the pediatrician put it!

While writing that last post I was dealing with a disciplinary issue called:

Pain in the ass Will.

He does this thing where he asks for something, you give it to him, he says NO, so you don’t get it to him, then he cries, says “Sorry!” and you give it to him and he says “No” and then you rinse and repeat.

Today he asked for chocolate milk.  I gave him the spoon to stir it (which he insists on doing) and he said “no.”  I put the spoon in the sink.  He cries for it.  I say “too bad, you missed that opportunity.”  And now he refuses to take the chocolate milk.  So I put it on the counter and go sit to write on this blog.

While typing he is crying and asking for the chocolate milk.  I tell him it’s right there and he can get it.  He says “MOMMA chocolate milk.”  This is very normal for him.  He gets it in his head that *I* have to *give* him the object and then he makes our lives miserable until I do.  I decided that we’re done with this.  So I sent him to his room.  He calmed down, then came back and started whining for it all over again.  Back to his room, then more whining.  Fast forward 30 minutes.

Literally 30 minutes.

I’m sitting on the floor thinking that it’s entirely possible that this child has more strength of will than I could ever hope to have.  So I close my eyes and lean up against the pantry and pretend to be asleep or dead.  On The Discover Channel, this works all the time. Surely he will give up and go eat another bunny instead.

Instead he continues whining for chocolate milk.  And he’s pushing me toward the counter where the cup is.  I am sitting there totally limp, so I fall over.  I’m not laying on the ground.

When I feel little hands tug at my arms.  He is trying to drag me across the floor.

This doesn’t work very well so he switches to pushing my body across the kitchen.  He stops when we get to the counter.  He drags my arm out, and lays my palm up to the sky.

I think I know where this is going, and now I’m wishing I’d rigged up a camera to capture this psychology experiment.

He gets the cup from the counter and puts it in my hand.  I let it rest there–I’m not holding it, it’s just laying there.  He pushes me up to a sitting position.  My eyes are still closed.

Then he says “chocolate milk, please.”  And the cup disappears from my hand.

I sneak a peek and find him standing there contently, sipping his chocolate milk.  I burst out laughing and he smiles at me, then gives me a hug.

This kid is a force of nature.

Last night I was reading to Will and did am impression of a gorilla thumping his chest.  Will laughed, leaned over, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “funny mom.”

I think he likes me.