Old Blog Posts: April 2008

Will’s sick and cranky.  He woke me up this morning a all-painful headbutt to the eye.

But I uploaded a cute video, so at least there’s that. 

We had a fantastically full day today.  It started with church.  We got there 30 minutes early because I thought if I played with Will for long enough in the nursery he wouldn’t scream and cry when I left.  Of course when we walked to the doorway (not even in the nursery yet) we got yelled at by the nursery staff for showing up too early (“you’re way too early.  you can’t drop him off until 9:15.”)  As if my idea of a fantastic coup is dropping Will off 15 minutes early at the nursery for mass.  SCORE FREE CHILDCARE.

(I sort of hate this month’s nursery staff, but Nic says it’s the nursery ladies’ job to be bitter.)

I explained that I just wanted to play with him for a while so that he wouldn’t be so upset when we left.  I’m not sure they fully believed me, but we sat and played with Will for half an hour and then left and it made all the difference in the world.  No crying or fussing at all.  (In fact, the nice nursery lady [the least bitter of the bunch] said when we came to pick him up that it was really smart that we came early.  So there.  [sometimes going to church makes me utterly un-churchy.])

Anyway, in spite of the mean nursery ladies (it was the same ones this week as the ladies that yelled at me last year for checking on him and caused our year-long absence from church, which reminded me of my friend Erin who stopped going to our church in Virginia after the nursery ladies there yelled at her) we had a very nice time.

We went to Costco afterwards for lunch and bulk paper towels.  Will gets so excited about getting pizza at Costco that he can barely contain himself–he kept breaking free from us and running to the counter to shout “ZA!!!” (“pizza”) at the cashier.

Will fell asleep on the way home and I got my work stuff ready while Nic dashed off to get a haircut.

I was hired by one of my brides to shoot her grandparent’s anniversary party and it was a fantastic experience.  The whole family was very sweet and fun and loving and I can’t wait to shoot her wedding, since I already know her family now!

While I was off being a photographer, Willie woke up from his nap and Nic took him to the zoo!  They had a fantastic time from the sounds of things–the hippo house was the biggest hit–they just ran between the fish “fish!”, hippos “poes! yuck!  eeeew!” (from a previous visit when a hippo pooped and a woman standing next to us made a big deal out of it), and penguins “guins!”

I beat the boys home and was talking with Kelly on the phone when they walked in.  Willie came over and gave me a giant hug and then ripped the phone out of my hand.  I thought he wanted to talk to Kelly, but all he wanted was my undivided attention–he thrust the phone at Nic and then came running back for hugs and to tell me all about the animals.

We had dinner, talked about the zoo, and played outside for a long time.  A very full day–I sort of feel like I went to the zoo, too!  (That’s because my boys are so good at telling me all about their adventures!)

I realized the other day that even though Will has been potty trained for ages, I still don’t have any pics of him on the potty.  I brought the camera upstairs tonight so I could catch the Will/Nic adorable teeth brushing routine as well as some ritual “kid on the potty” pics.  There are bunches, so they should all be up in an hour or two.

Last night kinda sucked around here.  We were feeling a little bummed about the job situation and the economy and the size of my thighs (which precludes me from making decent money as a stripper) and Will’s need not to live in a meth lab.

So I thought today I would write about the things that are good.

(But not before a petty annoyance:  it really upsets me when junk mailers write “do not throw away!” on the envelope.  Because I believe them and open it up only to find crap.  Meanwhile, USAA and the government never write “do not throw away!” and every so often Nic will be like “where the hell are those new credit cards I’ve been waiting for?” or “why hasn’t USAA sent us our tax info yet” or “why haven’t my Jeep licensing tabs come yet?  My current tabs are six months expired!”  Maybe I shouldn’t be in charge of the mail anymore.)

Good thing #1:  All of my wedding consults/bookings this week.  Weddings are going super well for us.

Good thing #2:  When I woke up in urine, we had a spare set of sheets to use

Good thing #3:  I dropped off my senior portrait hand-outs at the local high school today and they were 100 times cooler than the hand-outs that the other guy was dropping off (but the fact that he hadn’t had time to staple them together because he had just gotten out of the hospital after having a stroke made me feel a touch awkward).  But we’re focusing on the good here.

Good thing #4:  I really like Will as a two year old.  One was tough.  Looking back, one kind of kicked my butt.  But the terrible twos?  No way.  Terrible ONES.  But two is awesome.  He does rad stuff like bring me things that I ask for or entertain himself with a dvd while I take a shower ALL BY MYSELF (the kid is seriously awesome–he can find the one he wants to watch, turn on the tv, change the input to vcr, turn on the dvd player, insert the disc AND press play at the correct point in the menu [twice if you have to choose between widescreen and normal]!)  I do NOT mind tv if it means I get to shower by myself!

He says “stuck” but not “lunch.”  “Hippo” but not “toy.”  He makes the most hilarious faces and poops on the potty.  He claps for me when I pee.  And gives me hugs and kisses all the time.  He does a really good job of restraining himself when he wants to hit me (you can see it in his face, and 98% of the time, he does the right thing and chooses not to hit, which is 48% higher than the old days when he would smack me one like an abusive spouse).   He sleeps well at night and getting him to bed is getting steadily better.  He goes down for naps like a champ and sleeps at least two hours during that nap.  He is a pro with a spoon and doesn’t make that much more of a mess than Nic.  He gets to ride facing forward in the car, so he doesn’t cry all the time about the sun being in his eyes.  He will color happily at my feet for twenty minutes while I get something done.

Two is awesome.  I think it is the best yet.  In fact, I think I’m going to go spy on his cute little napping self right now and think about how good two is.

No news on the job search.  Nic called to follow up today and apparently they’re waiting on some feedback from some people.

Ummm…feedback faster, people.  I need health insurance for my amputee.

(But at least it’s not bad news.  And gives me time to go around the rosary a few more times.  Mary better be working overtime on this one.)

are up.  I know it’s been a while!

only it was my bed.

I woke up cold and wet.

Which is worrisome because it should have been WARM and wet.

I could have been marinating in cold pee for hours.

(Normally Will sneaks into our bed at about 1 or 2 after a quick stop at the potty.  Clearly last night the bathroom time happened in the wrong order.)

…who goes to the potty so he can fart.

His father could learn a thing or two from him about fart etiquette.

Will has been using the words he does know to make up phrases for the words he doesn’t know.  Two that come to mind:

“deet crack” (ferret crackers) = ferret food (because giraffes eat crackers, so surely whatever ferrets eat are ferret crackers)…when Oscar came for dinner this weekend with his mommy Laura, he had “dog crackers” (his treats)

“wa jew” (waffle juice) = syrup

He is getting more and more words.  Just yesterday he said “car” instead of “zoom” as we went out on errands.  He tells me all about everything he sees as we drive around.  And he shouts “bye bye” to any building we leave or truck we pass.  He waves to people.

He says “baby” now instead of “wah-bah” which breaks my heart a little.

And I finally got brave and am using underwear on him for our outtings (he has been great about using the potty on errands, but I have clung to the security/convenience of knowing he had a diaper on as back-up).  He is getting to be a regular Aunt Kelly on his tour of the bathrooms of the world.

It is dangerous to take him to Target, because he is like his Mommy–he wants everything that is there.

We play “monsters” a lot, where I chase him around roaring at him, but he has a “safe word” for when it gets too scary.  He likes it for a couple of seconds, then gets too scared and says “ouchie” and rolls to the ground.  This is my cue to stop being a monster and to hug and kiss him for his “ouchies.”  And then he wants me to go back to being a monster.

He is big into answering the phone.  The cutest little “hello?” “hello?”  “hello? hello?” and then he usually roars.  We talk on the phone a lot when I’m driving home from meetings.  This weekend he answered the phone while Nic was in the shower oblivious.  I heard “hello?” I said “is daddy there?” and he said “ROAR!” and roared at me a few more times before putting the phone down and walking away.  We need to work with him if he’s going to be my secretary. 

You may have read about the Colorado wildfires or be seeing things about them on tv.

Last night as I was driving home from a wedding consult (with the most beautiful couple I’ve ever seen in real life) I saw the weirdest cloud stretching from our neighborhood down to the south.  Very dark like rain, but very thin and low.  I commented on it to Nic, who told me it was from the fires.

It was very warm yesterday (in the high 70s) but the wind was crazy, so last night we opened the windows to cool off and within minutes my eyes were burning and it smelled like someone was having a campfire in our front yard.  The fires are far south of us, so it amazed me that the smoke reached us and still looked and smelled like smoke.

We’re supposed to get rain this afternoon, so hopefully that will put the fires out.

Nic’s interview yesterday went very well, so cross your fingers for us!  (Mine are turning a little blue.) 

It sounds like they want to make a quick decision, so I think we would probably hear by the weekend if it is good news.  If we haven’t heard anything by the weekend, send vodka.

Will was quietly playing with my phone this afternoon while I got dressed.  Or so I thought.  He was really applying lipstick all over his lips, cheeks, ears, weaner, butt, feet, and our bed linens.

Pics in the usual place.

…that politicians are basing their decisions on whomever happens to answer the phone at 8:30 at night and has the time and patience to answer a survey.

I was thrilled when I picked up the phone and was asked to be part of the survey.  All those years of watching The West Wing and never once did anyone poll ME.  (probably in large part because I was 15 and in England)  I could only have been more excited if they were asking me help with television ratings.

Anyway, I answered the poll and was terrified by the questions they asked.  I can tell you one thing right now: the results of the poll were useless.  In speaking with a complete stranger, I felt the urge to answer to please or impress her.  This scewed my answers.  For instance, I know I won’t vote in the November election.  The last time I tried to vote (by absentee ballet) they sent it back to me because my signature had changed in the past 10 years.  By the time it got back to me the election was over.  Made my vote feel sad and lonely and pathetic and used.  Teach me to bother.

And I know that in November we will be Colorado citizens and I won’t bother registering or going to vote (don’t judge me) because I don’t really see the point.  Eight years of Bush and pretty much all the things that could go wrong did go wrong…and it’s left me apethetic.  I don’t really care because regardless of how strongly I feel about an issue, things could go the other way.  I have my own things that I actually CAN control, like whether or not Will poops on the potty.  Those are the things that get my passionate feelings because those are the things that with a little persistance, I can make happen.

But when she asked me how likely I am to vote, I didn’t want her to hang up on me and lose my only chance to participate in a cool survey, so instead of saying “I’ll only vote if they make it as easy as an internet poll” I said “somewhat likely.”  And when she asked me how important it is to me that everyone in the US has healthcare I didn’t say “I don’t give a hoot as long as my little finger-slicer/face-cutter has healthcare” I said “somewhat” because I didn’t want her to think that I was a selfish bitch.  All sorts of useless judgemental questions.  Who writes these polls anyway if *I*, a housewife in Falcon, Colorado, can immediately see that the results are useless?!

And it got scarier–she began asking me what I thought would make the healthcare situation better, and what I thought would turn the economy around, and what I thought was the cause of the economic downturn.  And these were multiple choice questions and not one answer was “the economy is cyclical” or “wait for the passage of time and the cycle to go up again.”  And when she was asking about health care and the job market and my answer choices were all reactionary and hysterical and desperate, there wasn’t an essay question about how obtaining health insurance for my family has become my full time obsession as our coverage under Tricare comes ticking to a close or how the housing price plummet directly affects my ability to live where I want, or how the economy means that Nic isn’t getting a job as quickly as we would like.  And not one question asked “are you an economist or doctor or sociologist qualified to answer these questions and shape public policy?” or “If the bride is fat, what can you do to make her look less fat?” (which would be a question I’d be qualified to weigh in on.)

Anyway, it scares me that politicians care what I think.  Or really what any yahoo who has the time to answer polls at 8:30 at night thinks.  I guess it’s all part of being elected, but I would feel a lot better if they were asking these tough health care questions of actual professionals, and not people who spend their evenings making pimples disappear and skin look a little less blotchy red.

We left Will with the nanny for the first time yesterday while we went to an engagement shoot in Denver and it went so well!  Will cried a lot when we left (which I was prepared for because he did the same thing at church that morning) but she called us in a couple of minutes to let us know that he was fine and happily playing with the NEW and DIFFERENT toys she grabbed from her car.

She is so sweet–she organized our toy drawers and bookshelf and baskets.  They read tons of stories and didn’t watch any tv.  They played outside and colored and played trains.  They danced to Will’s Fraggle Rock cd.  And Will went to bed without any trouble!  (She said she’s sure it probably won’t work that easy next time since it did this time!)

After Will went to bed she tidied up and was reading our parenting books and magazines!  She has carseats in her car and she doesn’t have any babies of her own (and they are BRITAX carseats)!

When we got home she gave us the full run-down and said how much she enjoyed Will–that she laughed a ton because of how he does so much talking with his whole body.  Very expressive, our Will.

I cannot even say what a relief it is to have someone so wonderful to watch Will while we are gone.  It makes it so much easier to leave him!  So worth the expense!  (And we’ll be bumping our wedding prices in June to cover it for future weddings/engagement sessions.   Around the house, we call it the “Will needs a good nanny” price bump. )

Will loves playing with the sand that is under his swingset area.  He could play with it for hours and hours and hours.  But I can only be out there with him for about 5 minutes before I freak out because the entire area is one giant cat litter box.

ARGH.  What we need is to get a covered sandbox for him and use woodchips or tire material under the swingset.  Thank goodness that’s not hundreds of dollars or anything.

I am playing with Will and some of his little Disney figurines this morning.  I had Mr Incredible and Stitch and was making roaring noises and pretending like they were battling it out…and Will stood there looking at me like I was retarded.  Then he grabbed Mr Incredible and Stitch out of my hands and had them kiss “mwah, mwah, mwah!” (which I’ve never shown him).  Then he got really upset because Stitch’s gun made it so that he couldn’t properly “HUG!” Mr Incredible.

He needs Barbie and Ken, not Mr Incredible and Stitch.

Our new nanny came over yesterday to get to know us better and go through his nighttime routine with us (NOT on paid time and she was the one who wanted to do it–how cool is that?!)

She is fantastic and Will really likes her–she got some big hugs and of course was shown all of his toys and books.  She said she wants to come over 1/2 an hour early on Sunday (the first time we’ll be using her) not on the clock so Will can be totally comfy around her when we leave.

She’s worth every penny.  I bet she has a magical carpet bag, too.

I showed him that he could stick his alphabet fridge magnets inside of the dyer…so now they all have to go in there with him.