Today marks my one year anniversary as a working Registered Nurse, and I still haven’t gotten around to writing a final semester wrap-up post from nursing school. To be honest, I was waiting until I could write about nursing school without sounding negative, but 13 months later I’m just not sure I’ll ever get there.
In many ways nursing school was a big success. I graduated summa cum laude with a 4.0, took the NCLEX two weeks later with no real preparation (beyond nursing school itself and occasionally doing NCLEX Mastery app questions on my phone while I was on the toilet) passed in the minimum 75 questions in 45 minutes, and two weeks after that started as an RN in a Birth Center of a hospital, which had been my dream all along. (My original goal had been to be a Labor and Delivery nurse, but after working as a CNA on the Mom Baby Unit my dream job shifted slightly to Mom/Baby nurse as I couldn’t imagine leaving the place that felt like home!)
In many ways nursing school did not feel like a success–I left feeling defeated and bitter and confused as to what our program had even been trying to accomplish. I was so disgruntled that I actually did not attend the pinning ceremony–I just couldn’t stomach it. I did not feel as if the school were trying to turn us into the best nurses we could be, but rather that they were acting as self-ordained gatekeepers to the profession, unmercifully weeding out any they deemed unworthy. Having been through United States military officer training I understand the value of an intense training program. The old adage is that people are broken down and rebuilt stronger. Nursing school felt like a program that was very skilled in the first half of that philosophy and just enjoyed that part too much to ever get around to the second half. “They spend all day yelling at us that we are incompetent worthless idiots,” I whispered to a friend one afternoon close to graduation, “and then are completely baffled when we don’t show more initiative and confidence.” Nursing school hazed me far harder than the United States Air Force ever did. And only one of those programs is looking to make professional killers.
When I talk to people about nursing school I am torn between warning them away from what will probably be the worst two years of their life, and encouraging them because nursing is an incredible profession and they CAN make it through. So if you are reading this as you consider nursing school, know that it will be hard in all the ways you don’t expect, know that you will regret all the times you were distracted or depressed or just-so-very-emotionally-exhausted with your kids, know that they will try to break you, and know that at the end of it all, as you drag yourself to the finish line broken and empty, you still have Your First Months as a Nurse to tackle, which is a whole new level of failure and overwhelm and isolated and distracted and depressed. But if you want to do it, if you go in with your eyes wide open, it is worth it. Like motherhood, the hours and days are long, but the years are short, and pinning will be there before you know it.
Speattle - I knew nursing school was hard. I can’t believe it has been almost 40 years to the day that I graduated from the UW nursing school. The professional part of the program was 3 years (and I took 2 years of per-requisites prior).
It was one of the most difficult and demanding times of my life, but even with that I have to say that I felt our faculty was actually very encouraging and supportive. Not soft on us by any means, but you could tell they want wanted to see us succeed and appreciate the journey along the way. I really didn’t feel there were any mind games or that we were subjected to being “broken down” before building up.
I’m really rather shocked and disappointed that the faculty at your school seemed to take a different tone with you and your classmates. I’m glad you were able to see yourself through the bull***t to which you were subjected, and are finding your niche in this important and needed profession.
Congratulations!